Anarchic Lady

I believe that in the darkness there will be some light.
I can struggle and tumble but I will fight.
I will climb that endless flight of stairs.
I will reach the finish line no matter what.

I started the course of revamping my folio. I'm a nut! Repeat again and again. I'm going no where. Well you can see, all i did was the opening page with a few words and some lame graphic. My brain just freeze at that point. But no worries, I got something. I think. I'm day dreaming again.

I'm still sick of this lame arse. I'm sick. Literally sick. I decided to stop complaining because nothing is gonna change no matter how much I say. I decided to accept what fate has decided for me and admit defeat. I want to fight but I'm losing my will power. I'm all alone in this battle.

This maybe my last breath of retaliation.

Will anyone stand with me?

You all are just too coward to stand up for what you believe. You all are cowards too afraid to explore, too scared to take the risk, to gamble, you all have no guts to admit that you want something different. You all are just losers who follow the crowd and accept that this is life. You all are just frogs living in a well thinking you are so damn bloody great.

I jumped out. I did it, seen it, lived it.

Too bad I got dragged in again. Some clueless bugger thought that its not so great after all, idiots trying to pretend they know it all. What do they know? They have never done it, never seen it, let alone lived it. Saying its Bullshit cause they are just jealous that you choose to live a better life.

- depression quote no. 240 still counting

Same old story, I'm still here. Still alive.

I was due to leave this place but I'm stuck. As usual no one understands the difficulty.

I'm recreating my folio. Again from scratch. I'm too disgusted with my current one that I don't even go there to look at it anymore. I totally cannot be bothered with it and left it there to rot and die off like a lonely bum leaving on the streets. - totally uninspiring.

No inspiration at all. I'm trying very hard but I guess I tried too hard. Not even a drop off creativity can be squeezed out from this already dry well. Sick off it all.

I need a break. A real break. Just send me to a deserted island where I can drift off into darkness and be forgotten.

I have no personality. This is why it has become so hard. I can't be myself, I don't even know who I am anymore. I don't know how to present myself. I don't know what represents me. I'm like a floating soul with no ownership of anything. I don't know what I like. I don't know what I want.

Let me put it simple. I can't draw, I can't create, I can't design. FULL STOP.
Stop forcing me to do something and let me do something.

Creativity cannot be forced. It has to be inspired.
I am not inspired.

I need help. Send me a therapist. No send me some inspiration.

- Mr. M.I.A is around everyone.
- Mr. Q-T hasn't had a bath in a long time. (smelly)