Anarchic Lady

Yesterday was my BFF Ryce Birthday. Sad to say I'm not there to celebrate with her but no worries, Melvin is there with her.

The Cowgum as I know her~
Is like the "sotong" in the ocean. Blur Blur Blur.
She is a struggling fish trying to swim free.
Idealistic girl that tries to fulfil every fantansy but sometimes gives up because its too hard to follow through.
Depends alot on everyone but herself.
My one and only member friend in my "exclusive Billy club" - she could be better off than me now.
The only one that is willing to listen to all my crap about love and life.
The only one that understands the pain and suffering of life in Mahogany.
Clubbing is never better without her.

If you are looking for a drinking partner, you found her.
Smoke all you want cause she will gladly accept the invitation. Smoking does not mean only ciggis.

Girl I Miss You so Much.

My dear half-English, half-Singaporean friend came from London and met up with me for some serious chat. In some way it was quite comforting, a not so old friend who knows me like an old friend. Someone who listens and understands everything. I felt a little better after dinner. I was motivated to pursue my own dream. To live for myself - I will work towards that. He said we should all be motivated somehow and there will always be something to push ourself. I think I found that something. ~ ting ting ~

My friend - I may not feel you but I will listen to you, forgive yourself when you can, you can live better, at least better than me.

I saw the light, I broke down when he did. I knew nothing was treasured more than this moment.

I miss you too. very much.

Didn't like what I saw, once again the feeling, the third sense, the intuition so strong like the other times. I know I maybe wrong but every time I was right. I am afraid. It is an unbearable thought but I can only stay behind and hope and pray this time I am really wrong.

Like a real monkey the bear has gone wild, I can no longer control it. Every time it tries to take advantage of this situation, with all the many dangerous queen bee around but will the bear take take the fall? I will try not to think of it. I'm a mess - total chaos.

I know what I'm doing, someone told me that this process is seen common and even he/she has experienced it a few times. Trap!! The feeling of complete is still far far away but there is nothing more one can do. The obvious is placed right before me, I'm not dumb I know how to count. I see that I'm at the losing end. After all the hard work and long hours, I concluded, I'm nothing. I got nothing, I'm worth nothing. These peanuts is only enough to feed nobody, I'm doom to starve and remain penniless.

If this is the so call proper way of life I think its bullshit. Who with the right mind would settle for this? ME. People made the worst mistakes for others thinking is for their own good, BLAH..... for "their own good" you mean. How do you determine what's good? GOOD FOR YOU? I see the point in all this, I'm blind, I'm not thinking straight, I'm confused - WHATEVER! You see a thing you can't see, you listen to something you can't hear. You think you know it all, you are sure you know it all, wrong. Changes have to be made, never give up, hang on tight. No pain No gain.

Like they say, I lived with 3 people - ME, MYSELF and I. I'm in no position to control any one of them.

Run free people, you only have 1 chance. I didn't get mine.