Annoying a stay-at-home-mum

by - March 20, 2015

I did anticipate that becoming a parent is going to bring lots of changes to the family. I know it was not going to be easy and I have to make a lot of sacrifices and listen to some advise. I love my family. I enjoy looking after my little one and the Pros of being a SAHM (Stay At Home Mum) is definitely more than the Cons because the reward and satisfaction I get makes it all worth it.

But I want to share/vent some annoying things I have been told after I became a parent.
10 things I get annoyed with.

1. You have the luxury and so lucky to stay at home and not work.
Reality check. My choice to stay at home was not by luck and certainly not a luxury. This is only made possible through stringent planning, daily budgeting, realistic spending and of cos foregoing luxury. I gave up a career I spend many years to build up, I was on a roll. Does it not occur to you that unlike you, I actually enjoy my work and giving it all up was a difficult decision.

2. Why don't you send him to childcare.
People send or don't send their kids to childcare for many reasons. And they are reasons I do not wish to discuss with you. But if you really want to know why, I can give you one out of the many I have. I visited a centre once thinking of childcare options. I saw a very young 8month old with thick green snort running down his nose. He looked miserable. End of story. If you still don't get it, you will once you become a parent.

3. Did you feed him this food and that food it's good for him. You should cook him that food.
Would you like to know that the food you sometimes mention needs me to drive 1hour away to get. Would you like to know that the food you suggest is not often available here. Would you like to know that what's good for him is up to me as a parent to decide. He is well and alive. Thank you for your kind suggestions.

4. Don't feed him all these food pouches when you are traveling it has no nutritional value and you can't feed him the food we adults eat.
So would you be so kind to suggest how I can cook some nutritious food while miles away from a kitchen. Perhaps next time I should bring along a portable cooker, cooking utensils, bags of fresh produce, set up camp and cook some nice food. That is totally achievable at the airport, shopping mall, tourist attractions and restaurants. Yes, cooking in the hotel room before going out is stupid suggestion.

5. Did you know that so and so was already doing these things at his age. Have you started to teach him to do the same if not you should.
My son is a unique individual that likes to learn at his own pace. Enough said.

6. You can sleep when your baby sleep. It must be awesome to have all these free time.
Yes super awesome because this free time includes, washing nappies, washing dishes, cleaning up the food mess on the floor-table-walls, cooking for myself, cooking for the kid, folding nappies, keeping the kid's toys, finding the missing pieces, keeping the other things he pull out from around the house, re-folding all the clothes he pull from the clothes drawer, taking a shower, and finally 10mins if I'm lucky to write part of this post, check some social media, and close my eyes to sleep for a whole minute. Just a small part of awesome free time I have while the baby sleeps. (This is on a good day)

7. (While baby is tired and crying frantically and wriggling at the same time) Try hold him this way, soothe him that way, watch his head, what's wrong with him, why is he crying non-stop, he must be tired, look at this toy baby, make funny faces while clapping loudly.
Yes, I have people who did all that to me and my overtired baby one advise at a time or bombarded all at once. I'm a good parent trying my best to calm my baby to sleep the way I know how. Your overly enthustic manner of trying to help is appreciated but please let me handle it alone unless I ask for your help.

8. You should go out more to the park with your baby. It's good to let them lie expose under the sun. No hat, no sunscreen, no protection.
Are you insane!

9. Bring him out more to meet people don't stay cope up at home all the time.
How often do you suggest I go out? Is 3 times a week not enough for you. Do I really have to take the 1hour long journey out of my house by public transport to meet strangers at a mall. Do I really have to bring him to the park everyday. Do you know that there are some weeks during the year that going out is really a stupid thing to do with a young baby. How about there are just some days where I'm not feeling up for it because I haven't slept well since my child was born.

10. I want to see your baby. Let's meet for dinner here at 8:30pm.
Sorry if I have to blow you off time and time again because cranky baby is not good company. I also can't really help it if he falls asleep at 7pm even after I tried my best to force his eyes open. And like they always say "never wake a sleeping baby". How about dinner at 6pm instead and you are most welcome to come visit if you are not too busy over the weekend.

I can understand that some people without children really have no idea what it is like to have kids. I don't blame them for asking some genuine questions or saying some things. They just really have no clue. But I just cannot take it when those who have children think they know better and try to teach me how to raise my child "correctly" without me asking them. Who are you to know what's correct for my child. My child is an individual, I'm trying my best like all parents. You should respect me and my decisions as a parent to know what's best for my child, not what you think is best. Quite frankly, I really don't give a sh*t what you think.

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