Anarchic Lady

Didn't like what I saw, once again the feeling, the third sense, the intuition so strong like the other times. I know I maybe wrong but every time I was right. I am afraid. It is an unbearable thought but I can only stay behind and hope and pray this time I am really wrong.

Like a real monkey the bear has gone wild, I can no longer control it. Every time it tries to take advantage of this situation, with all the many dangerous queen bee around but will the bear take take the fall? I will try not to think of it. I'm a mess - total chaos.

I know what I'm doing, someone told me that this process is seen common and even he/she has experienced it a few times. Trap!! The feeling of complete is still far far away but there is nothing more one can do. The obvious is placed right before me, I'm not dumb I know how to count. I see that I'm at the losing end. After all the hard work and long hours, I concluded, I'm nothing. I got nothing, I'm worth nothing. These peanuts is only enough to feed nobody, I'm doom to starve and remain penniless.

If this is the so call proper way of life I think its bullshit. Who with the right mind would settle for this? ME. People made the worst mistakes for others thinking is for their own good, BLAH..... for "their own good" you mean. How do you determine what's good? GOOD FOR YOU? I see the point in all this, I'm blind, I'm not thinking straight, I'm confused - WHATEVER! You see a thing you can't see, you listen to something you can't hear. You think you know it all, you are sure you know it all, wrong. Changes have to be made, never give up, hang on tight. No pain No gain.

Like they say, I lived with 3 people - ME, MYSELF and I. I'm in no position to control any one of them.

Run free people, you only have 1 chance. I didn't get mine.

I admit, I'm guilty, I haven't blog for awhile, way too busy getting my double life organise.
I say double. Happy and unhappy. I tried so hard to cover up my other half, the nastier one ofcos but will it try to break out one day?

I'm tired! This is worse then shift work, at least I work 8hrs MAX!! now its 10hrs MINIMUM. This sucks, why do I have to torture myself like this everyday? I'm not doing it for me, I'm not doing it for happiness, I am going against everything I live for, against everything I want. Why do I have to let someone decide my future? What is more important? My happiness or my future? Maybe to someone none of these matters, as long as we all live by the rules, the storm will never come.

Take me with you please I beg you. I'm sorry.

I fell from the sky when they took them away from me.
I want to fly again, to be what I want to be.
I want to be me.

Don't take my wings away from me.
Let me fly high above mountains.
Let me see beyond the seas.
Just let me be with my wings.

It was the usual boring speeches. The first couple was loud click clack but after the 50th person everyone started to die down. So to snap everyone out of their daydream I managed to prep my voice for the right moment. When Anlyn appeared on stage, I voiced my support the loudest I can. Sending the "boom boom" from top to bottom waking everyone up in shock. It worked like magic.

After 1hr 45mins the ordeal is finally over, and we cannot miss the traditional photo taking session. COOL!